Why I Drink Coffee (and other elementals)

Hello, all 0.1 of my readers. I am sure somewhere, someone has actually put an actual THUMB on my blog and, scanning it quickly, realized I am, as they say, "el loco" and went on to better, bigger, sweeter blogs. Of course my blog is very sweet indeed, but in a world this cruel who could ever care for the likes of little ol'me, saturated in syntax and with a backhand dying to be exercised? Yes, POUND away on that goddamned piano, Imelda, and don't come back until you've mastered at least a few runs on that thrillingly black and white keyboard! And tennis, yes sir - that was really the analogy I was going for.

Anyway, I don't like that last sentence much, but good thing it doesn't matter because NOBODY READS MY FUCKING BLOG. Oh well, cry me a river, don't be a cry baby, I'll give you something to cry about! It's amazing that human beings are still so very primitive, more animal than human, unable to dive out of their evil dark side and somehow embrace compassion in a lovely liquid sea for their fellow human beings. Instead, they seek, in no particular order, STATUS, POWER, AND MONEY and yes, I AM shouting. Good thing nobody is reading this, heh heh! Oh, I do need to write, yes sirree, I really, really do. Move that thumb, baby, it's about to get REAL in here.

And, sylph like, I am currently residing in the town where I grew up only to realize that the only thing THIS town gives a fuck about is all of the above. Disgusting, really, Western civilization's propensity for destroying itself because Rome can't let go of that nagging feeling that somewhere, SOMEBODY needs to be oppressed. Civilizations are bought and borrowed upon the backs of the poor by the rich; ever was, and ever shall be, and everybody knows it, and somebody somewhere has gotta feel superior so you can remain inferior. As a poor woman on disability believe me, I know this, although I do a ludicrously ingenius job of pretending to be normal.

But lately, I don't want to blend in, but stick out. Lately I don't want to play it safe, but make some fucking waves. Lately, I want to seek Jesus Christ for His own sake and NOT for what He can do for me (although God knows, with my potty mouth and multiple wounds, I need all the fucking help I can get, isn't that right, man who hung out with foul mouthed fishermen with a few issues of their own)?

Come, and I will make you fishers of men, He said. In a world always poised on the brink of disaster, succumbing to its own insanity, held together with the glue of the righteous by which I mean those who have forsaken self to serve others, I want to find a new way. Out of this hell, out of this interior suffering, into new light, new hope, and a new sense of my own weakness mired in His competency. I do have gifts and talents, and they are valuable to someone, somewhere. I believe this to be true, even for the likes of sinful me. Incest will not win. Jesus in ME will.

Jesus liked sinners. He liked the suffering. He embraced the weak and despised the sins of the arrogant. He wanted to lead people OUT of their suffering.

Now, I pray this for me. For you. For all of us.

May it be so, Lord Jesus, and thank you.

Amen.

Oh, and coffee? I drink it to wake up in the morning. But of course! ;)